When my Husband asks me how has your day been? I now try and say productive. It seemed as though by saying I was busy was placing a block between me and my Husband creating further conversation. It was sort of saying… I can’t really keep talking today as I have talked enough.

Well in fact; I had talked enough. Talked enough about appointments that had to be made, about appointments that I had to attend, talked about the existing work that sits on my desk waiting to be completed (it always does by the way), talked about other people’s ideas, talked about how I can make concepts work for other people, talked about what needed to be done in order to get ahead of the next work day, about what people needed in order to make their day easier, their day easier.

No; this is me not being unhappy at work; actually quite the opposite. I really do enjoy going to work. I like being…. You know…. That word…. Busy!!

We always try and put best foot forward by the way; just in case that one time you are trying to take a personal moment; that someone superior to you may catch you and wonder why you are not at your desk finishing off those tasks. (You know the tasks that just keep coming in as you are good at what you do)

Well this is not about work; this is about me being very busy!

In January in a moment of reflection; I knew it was time to concentrate on me for a while. Me being me is a Wife, Mum, Sister and Daughter. Somehow; there never seemed to be time for me anymore as it was all about work and other people in my life and then I realised something…. This is me. I am busy at work and I am busy at home. I like that I am busy for my family. Well… most of the time.

How busy should I really be though? Shouldn’t I be able to stop and have a nice dinner without my mind drifting off to what I should have done, what I could have done, where I should have been and where I am not! I am trying very hard to be more ‘placed’.

‘Placed’ is an interesting word. What exactly does this mean? Maybe we are all in the place we are meant to be until a new ‘place’ arises.

I arise in the mornings about the 5:30 – 6:00am. Waking up is not a bright and bubbly start as it was in my 20’s and even 30’s. Waking for me is waking to find my coffee cup; my favourite cup that I ask no one to touch. I find the coffee cup and then wait for the kettle to reach the 90 degrees that I crave for at this time of the morning. It is then time to grab Molly (Family Pet) and go outside so I can wonder what is ahead of me today. You see; I have already thought about my place in the world by 6:15am. I try and become at one with the birds and the trees as to still my mind, but I will always wonder back to what is ahead instead of actually being present for my ‘place’ right now.

My lesson through this blog is to actually be ok with the fact that we are all busy; and really where would we be if we weren’t busy. So why don’t we enjoy our busy times and busy lives and then relinquish our silence to those moments when we actually need them.

They say that silence is golden; but without your busy moments; you wouldn’t have found the gold in a conversation you had; you wouldn’t have found gold in the person that you have just helped to reach a goal and you certainly wouldn’t haven’t felt like gold if we hadn’t completed our day and given every effort we could have to be the best version of ourselves. Remember; being the best version of yourself comes from you and your efforts; not the people that surround you.

Throughout our youth and adult life we often joked about growing old together and how we would manage the daily aspects when that event arrived, however, we never really thought that it would.

So, we built ourselves a very busy life full of travel, sport, family, business, friends, family and community engagement because we wanted to contribute wherever we could. It was a successful life in my opinion with all its ups and downs, successes and failures. It was and still is a grand life we lead but it has been further enriched by the many things that occur without planning and sometimes those events come and go without you realising just how important and significant it was.

I miss working for a living but would find it difficult to manage a career because I am just so busy being retired. I honestly do not know how I found the time to work.

So I will get up now and put the kettle on, it’s one of those new kettles that does everything but make the bloody coffee. While the kettle is heating up I have my first of many visits to the bathroom, while it’s free. Wash up, make some breakfast, have a cuppa or two and stare at the walls until some thought comes into my head about what I could do during the day.

I look back at life. I have been working since I was fifteen years of age and have done many things during my career and working life. I worked hard and long at all things from retailing to managing large public enterprises and just about anything in the middle.

My partner and I worked side by side for a majority of my working life and formed several companies together. Surprisingly we rarely argued about work because we both knew who the boss really is.

Age brings with it aches and pains but I have earned mine and so has my partner.

We have decided to embrace where we are in our lives, we have been so lucky to be married to our best friends and we still live in each-others shadow. We now have the time to sit and look at each other and actually have conversations where one listens to the other. We are discovering new things about each other on a regular basis, especially about our early upbringing and living in different countries until our late teens.

We are learning from each other every day. We now acknowledge that at our age you still have interests and aspirations that need to be fulfilled and we help each other wherever we can to achieve those goals. We are still involved in the community at various levels and give to charity wherever possible. We have not let our business skills and knowledge slip away into those corners of the mind where we can no longer recall them.

We now have the time to really listen to what our grown children’s aspirations are and wish every success to them but we are careful not judge or offer advice. BUT WE DO ANYWAY!

All these thoughts run through my head and I now have a clearer picture of what I will spend my day achieving, and achieve I will.

First, I will wake him up and get him off to the shops.

I love my life and will live it to the fullest for as long as can!

Youth, Depression and The Workplace

Depression affects many different people in many different ways each and every day. People from all walks of life deal with this somewhat “invisible” illness for their entire lives and for some, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, no silver lining, no way out.

One of the things I think is most overlooked in regards to this topic is how people cope with it in the workplace. When someone who is suffering is not at work, they may have their coping mechanisms to rely on (i.e. social time with friends, a local sporting commitment, etc. Something to bring them into a better mindset for even just a short amount of time)

Everyone we see during our day-to-day life is fighting their own battles in some way. Believe it or not, there are young people out there right now working hard to try and find some sort of normality in their lives, something to show them that life is worth living and that there’s more to this crazy world than just what we see in front of us every day.

Working, at times, can be strenuous on the mind and body and I think it’s important for us to recognise exactly what these young men and women are dealing with each and every day such as lethargy, paranoia/fear, self-loathing and anxiety or racing thoughts. All these factors come together like a twisted cocktail of emotions when someone who’s suffering has a “bad day”.

A lot of people will probably say to themselves, or even publicly “This is what’s wrong with this generation, they’re complainers, they feel like the world owes them something”.
Well, no. This is the furthest thing from a generational issue. This has more to do with today’s society than which era produced the most mentally and physically strong workforce.

Now let me put you into their shoes for a moment..

It’s Monday morning and today you’re back at work. You’ve had your alarm set for 6:30, but that doesn’t matter, you’ve been up since 3 anyway. Unable to sleep, unable to have any calm, rational or positive thoughts. The thought occurs to you “Is this it? Is this what I’m destined to do for the rest of my life?” After an hour of bringing up your boss’s phone number on your screen to either; call in sick or inform them you can’t handle the position’s requirements and dedication, you muster up the strength to get out of bed in the hope a warm shower and some breakfast will give you the energy to press on and try look at things through “rose-coloured glasses”.

You did it! You’ve made it to work with food in your stomach (despite your lack of appetite) and a smile on your face. Now it’s time to converse with both colleagues and/or customers. 9am-12pm is fantastic; you’ve done everything required of you and with gusto. Everything has gone smoothly (aside from that one rude/impolite/arrogant coworker or customer) and now it’s time to have your break.

Whilst you’re enjoying your small amount of time to yourself, you begin rehashing the impolite encounter you had earlier, you replay the conversation in your head over and over, thinking of something you should’ve said or something you should’ve done. That thought doesn’t leave your mind now; from that moment on, whenever you face conflict, that issue and all other past issues come flooding back turning you into an overwhelmed mess. Your heart is racing, you’re not sure why but your throat feels tighter and more dry than usual (water doesn’t fix that, that’s pure stress and repression of your feelings about a certain situation).

The overflowing glass of emotional instability is in full effect.

That’s what depression feels like. Your internal “glass” is always full the top therefore only taking one small incident to happen, one miniscule thing to be out of line and you’re sent into a spiral for weeks on end because of the sheer embarrassment you feel from being effected by such small things on such a regular basis. It makes you feel weak, it makes you feel dependent on others and most of all, it makes you feel insignificant.

Millions of people deal with this every day and majority of them never find their inner peace. It’s something you wouldn’t know unless they informed you. So please, next time someone looks like they’re not having a great day, a simple “Are you okay?” can go a long way. Be kind to one another. If we all did that, the world would be a much nicer place to live, work and love.

Is that when a company realises that you are no longer required, or is it your skills that are no longer required, or is it your personality that is no longer required, or the hours that you have put in are no longer required? What exactly is being made redundant? According to the dictionary; redundant means ‘not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous. This leads me back to the questions though that I posed in the beginning.

Up until today; I genuinely felt for people who had lost their jobs and I always found within myself wanting to help them as much as I could to change this situation… a fresh resume, a newly written front cover letter, options for employment opportunities and options for training opportunities.

Well today; I don’t feel so helpful; today I am angry as this word entered my home. Today; the phone call comes through that you don’t expect and I am expected to deal with this in a calm manner without asking questions, expected not to know the full details as to why this word entered our home.

Well today; I now sit writing this as it may help me for once to deal with this word and maybe help me answer some questions that no one else seems to know the answer to: how do we pay the mortgage, how do we pay for our consolidated loan, how do I pay for our insurances, food, electricity, council rates and so on and so on.

As I write this my anger has dulled and worry and anxiety has sets in nicely; just enough though to not feel like talking. Yes; I would like to sit and deal with my husband’s redundancy all on my own. There is only one issue with that; it’s not just about me, it’s also about him. Have I yelled at him today? Yes. Has he yelled at me today? Yes. Why are we yelling at each other when someone else made this decision for our household? I have no answer. Did it make me feel any better? Not really. Did yelling make our day worse? Not really. Didn’t make a slight bit of difference as the word is still there sitting silently between the two of us.

I now no longer feel as though I can write those resumes or front cover letters to help people who have been made redundant like I am some kind of superwoman who may be able to make some kind of difference to someone; but what I do know now is that I can genuinely understand the situation which in turn may mean I can help more than I have ever helped before. Maybe asking that person not to be angry at me for losing their employment opportunity was the wrong thing to say; or maybe now I can sit back and ask that person to stop being angry at me as now I understand their anger.

Maybe this is why we had to go through this today. Maybe this is why my family had to face this. Maybe this word that starts with an R will make me understand my role now within companies when I am asked to work with redundant workers.

Up until today; that was work and that is what I was paid to do. Will this work with companies and individuals continue; yes it will. Will I now be a different person stepping into those future conversations? Yes; I will.

Now; the conversations with this redundant person will include how are you and your family coping with this situation?

We can in fact have purpose without realising the end result as there are too many questions to be asked to gain a full response to your purpose.

You don’t know what the Trainer is like; Are they enthusiastic? Are they happy to be in the room with you? Do they share their story with you? Do they make you feel comfortable? Do they know what they are talking about?

These are questions that you should be asking yourself by the time you take your first seat in your classroom environment.
As you sit down for the first time, you then start looking around and trying to seek out those who are probably feeling just like you.

It’s not easy, but trust me some of those learners are feeling just like you!

Your trainer starts to introduce themselves, and it will be at that moment you discover that you have either made the right decision to commence on a new learning journey or question the fact why you are there.

The only difference between these two is the way your trainer has introduced themselves.

You as the learner need to see the immediate value in why you are there. Your Trainer should lay out all the training objectives so you can see an immediate plan of what you can get out of the learning.

What has been your experience on the first day of any learning you have undertaken?

Have you had a great first-hand experience that you could share with others or was your experience a one of boredom and lacklustre?

If Trainers are anything like me; they remember what it’s like to enter the training room for the first time – in fact I remember this each and every time I meet a new team of learners.

By taking this memory into the classroom with me, it allows me to be grounded and start off on the right foot each and every time.

I may know my subject, but it would be remiss of me to think I know all there is to know about each one of my learners.

I pride myself on giving each learner purpose even though they may not know what it is yet.

“What I do best is share my enthusiasm” ~ Bill Gates